Ellie: When Toy's Day is in our Korean holiday, ?????????
correction: I want to have "Toy's Day" as one of our Korean holiday.
[Fragment sentence: sentences should have complete thought.]

Ellie: I will very happy, because I want to buy a my own camera. ?????????
correction: I will be very happy on that day because I'll be able to buy my own camera.
[Try to include or always be clear in representing your ideas.]

Ellie: but Toy's Day is give all thing to children and I'll have my camera. ?????????
correction: In "Toy's Day" more toys will be given to children and I'll have my camera.
[Present continuous tense or form of expression is needed in this sentence.]

Hi, Ellie! ??????????????????????????????
I'll give you ten stars for your creativity and willingness to do your homework. Please, take note of the corrections and I hope to see you later.
-Teacher Joanna