회원가입 로그인

학습방

원어민 일대일 맞춤 회화 수업 토크펀! 영어 정복의 꿈을 이루세요!

영작문첨삭

If it is important to live a happy life.

작성자 : vau***   ·   2016-07-31

People try to find a happiness and a joy to fill their mind with opptimistic feeling. The joy is essential for us,human to live. As long aswe take a happy occurence, there will be more and more will be more and more will appeared. Our movement is mostly determined by in physics which means the mind. For example, if you are in a really bad mood, you must be discouraged to do all of thing in contrast there is a luck that only benefit to you, you can work harder with more power. Even according to the search of the famous scientist indicates that they have a good conseqence when they feel pleased and have the matters that are good to them. I strongly imposes that it is important to live a happpy life. The reason for that is that it has an evidence following on the study of scientist.

답변

People try to find a happiness and a joy to fill their mind with opptimistic feeling.
> People try to find a happiness and a joy to fill their mind with an optimistic feeling. 


 The joy is essential for us,human to live.
>Joy is essential for us humans to live.


 As long aswe take a happy occurence, there will be more and more will be more and more will appeared.
> As long as we take a happy occurence, there will be more and more will be more and more will appear.


Our movement is mostly determined by in physics which means the mind.
>Our action is mostly determined by in physics which means the mind.


For example, if you are in a really bad mood, you must be discouraged to do all of thing in contrast there is a luck that only benefit to you, you can work harder with more power.
>For example, if you are in a really bad mood, you might be discouraged to do all of things.
In contrast, there is luck that only benefits to you, you can work harder with more power.


 Even according to the search of the famous scientist indicates that they have a good conseqence when they feel pleased and have the matters that are good to them.
>Even according to the research of the famous scientists, it indicates that they have positive consequences when they feel pleased and have the matters that are good to them.


I strongly imposes that it is important to live a happpy life.
>I strongly imposes that it is important to live a happy life.


The reason for that is that it has an evidence following on the study of scientist.
>The reason for that is that it has an evidence following on the study of scientists.

목록으로