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영작문첨삭
Topic: Family
작성자 : cel*** · 2016-05-24
Family has two meanings for me. One means passive thought, the other means conative thought.
The former is family involved me when I was young. Then I followed my parents, I was just a member of my family that my parents led. I didn't have to be concerned sincerely about family things. I think that I was pleasant and happy without big worries.
The latter is family that I and my husband lead. I have many things that I have to decide carefully. I have much responsibility about my family things and members of my family. Therefore I have some worries sometimes, for example financial, moving, education of my son, family event, etc. Even though those worries, I feel happy due to my family.
I think family makes me develop both thinking and mind. Family is very important in my life.
답변
Family has two meanings for me. One means passive thought,the other means cognitive thought.
The people who influenced me a lot when I was young were my parents. My parents lead the family. I obeyed my parents all the time because I didn't have to be sincerely concerned about family things. I think I was happy andcontented without big worries.
Now that I have my own family, the person who influenced me most is my husband. He leads the family. I have many things that I have to decide carefully. I have much responsibility about my family.Therefore I tend to have worries sometimes, for example in financial aspect, transportation,education of my son, family event, etc. But despite these worries, I still feel happy because of my family.
I think my family helped me develop both my mental and emotional aspect. Family is very important in my life.
POINTS TO IMPROVE:
- Punctuation
-Verb tenses
- Choice of words