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작성자 : hel*** · 2016-02-18
I see that i will go to a great univers if i study really hard
and i am gonna study really hard so i will have a free time for me.
In my birthday at 20, i am gonna have a big party like the wedding so every people and every family could come and celebrate.
It is not a great and it dosen't have ditales but i thing this is a great plan.
THANK YOU
and i am gonna study really hard so i will have a free time for me.
In my birthday at 20, i am gonna have a big party like the wedding so every people and every family could come and celebrate.
It is not a great and it dosen't have ditales but i thing this is a great plan.
THANK YOU
답변
CORRECTION/s:
Just like everyone else, I am a young girl with big dreams in life. I've always wanted to become a soccer player since I was little. Indeed, to become one, I need not only practice and train myself but also I need to study hard. I truly believe that I could definitely enter a good university if I study and work hard enough. Although I still have to wait for more years to come, I never waste any time to improve and prepare myself for that very moment in the future.
Going to college is not the only one I would look forward to in the future but also the time when I turn 20. Who wouldn't be excited for his/her 20th birthday? Of course everyone would, especially that youngsters are the ones who can't wait to turn adults and enter the stage where they will be independent and more prepared to go after their dreams.
When I turn 20, I would like to hold a huge birthday party that would look like a wedding. I want it that way so that everyone will enjoy not just me and my family. I know it sounds like I am so ambitious but doing this can be a form of a reward for myself before I move and start my adult life independently.
FEEDBACK:
Try to prolong your compositions next time. I know you can do much better than what you try to show me. Nonetheless, I appreciate this essay of yours. It's very honest and it really comes from your heart. Thank you, Victoria!