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Homework□

작성자 : rub***   ·   2015-11-06

🍰 Write a short essay about your night routine.

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At 7:30 , I usually eat dinner with my family. After dinner, I usually take a shower at 8:00. At 9:00, I study Math or Science. And, I usually study history or English at 9:50. I usually go to bed at eleven p.m.

답변

 

    **********CORRECTED ESSAY OF RUBY AHN**********

There are some activities that I regularly do at night. At 7:30 p.m., I usually eat dinner with my family. After dinner, I usually take a shower at 8:00. At 9:00, I study math or science. Afterwards, I usually study history or English at 9:50. I usually go to bed at 11:00 p.m.

    ************************************************

RUBY: ~
CORRECT:
There are some activities that I regularly do at night.

>> Put an introduction to your every essay or paragraph.

RUBY: At 7:30 , I usually eat dinner with my family.
CORRECT: At 7:30 p.m., I usually eat dinner with my family.

>> Use the time expression, p.m., to start your paragraph.

RUBY: After dinner, I usually take a shower at 8:00.
CORRECT: After dinner, I usually take a shower at 8:00.

>> Avoid redundancy in a paragraph.

RUBY: After dinner, I usually take a shower at 8:00.
CORRECT: At 9:00, I study math or science.

>> Do not capitalize subjects unless they are names of a language.

RUBY: And, I usually study history or English at 9:50.
CORRECT: Afterwards, I usually study history or English at 9:50.

>> Avoid using AND at the beginning of the sentence.

RUBY: I usually go to bed at eleven p.m.
CORRECT: I usually go to bed at 11:00 p.m.

>> Beconsistent. Since you used numbers as your time expressions, use it all throughout the paragraph.

    *************************************************

Your night routine is very productive, Ruby! I notice that you did not include using your phone, and that's an amazing thing. I hope to adapt some of your good habits. ;)

Love,
Teacher Ace~

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