Hi, Claire! Thank you very much for submitting your homeowrk on time. I hope you will review your corrections whenever you have free time. Always put in the mind the corrections I gave you, so next time you will avoid those lapses again.

* Most of your sentences are grammatically correct. You just need to remember to CAPITALIZE the first word of your sentence and also the proper nouns like names of people and places.

* Be careful with the SPELLING of the words. I think you just mistyped it.

(X) one ~> once

(X) opon ~> upon

(X) girll ~> girl

(X) stared ~> started

(X) comepose ~> compose

one opon a time there lived a girll named claire. she loved music.

Once upon a time, there lived a girl named Claire who loved music.

* Don't forget the use of punctuation marks like comma.

* You can connect the other sentence by using the word WHO to give more information about someone. (Example: I have a friend WHO is a good singer.)

She stared to comepose music.and she became a composer.

She started to compose music when she was young and became a composer.

* Just be careful with your spelling and remove the words that are not needed.

* I also added something to make your story better.

everyone loved her music.

Everyone loved her music.

* Good job! Your sentence is correct. You just need to capitalize the first word of the sentence.

she was a natural genius.

She was a natural genius.

* Great! Another correct sentence. You just need to capitalize the first word of the sentence.

she kept on writing music,until she got her own music book.

She kept on writing music until she got her own music album.

* Album instead of book. Album refers to a recording of several pieces of music.

She kept on writing then her family said she was outstanding.

She continued composing and her family said she was outstanding.

* You can use other words so it will not be redundant since you already said she kept on writing.

then she toured all over ohio. and then she settled down in korea.

She toured all over Ohio and then, she settled down in Korea.

* Always remember to capitalize proper nouns like names of places.

finaly when she was old she started going deaf.

At the end, she started going deaf when she got old.

* Be careful with your WORD ORDER and instead of using finally, use AT THE END.

CORRECTED COMPOSITION:

Once upon a time, there lived a girl named Claire who loved music. She started to compose music when she was young and became a composer. Everyone loved her music. She was a natural genius. She kept on writing songs until she got her own music album. She continued composing and her family said she was outstanding. She toured all over Ohio and then, she settled down in Korea. At the end, she started going deaf when she got old.

Love, teacher Jhen :D