Olivia's Answer:

I want a horse.
I'll name her Emily.
Her hair will be black and the body color will be dark brown.
She will be the prettiest horse I've ever seen.
She will have a purple saddle.
Her eyes will shine like emeralds.
She will run as fast as a cheeta.
In her neck she will have a crystal amulet.
The tail's color will be black.And a white star in her forehead.
I will ride her every day after school.
I want to take every where I go.
The beach,park,swming pool.
I will be with her together and love her.

Correction:

1.
Olivia: She will run as fast as a cheeta.
correct: She will run as fast as cheetah.
Explanation: check your spelling.

2.
Olivia: The tail's color will be black.And a white star in her forehead.
correct: The tail's color will be black and it will have a white star in her forehead.
explanation: Complete the sentence.

3.
Olivia: The beach,park,swming pool.
correct: The beach ,park ,and swimming pool.
explanation: Spacing of punctuation mark and  spelling of swimming.

Note:

Thank you so much for sharing about your favorite pet. keep practicing your writing skill Olivia and check your spelling carefully. Good job!

See you in our class, keep smiling! :)