I went to aLOTTE WORLD ice rink with my father

I crashanother people amd i fall on a ice so, it's very hurt after i'm good

andit is happy to ride a ice skate.

i will come back and iride many times.

graduallypeple are many, many, and many people come on a LOTTE WORLD ice rink

so,peple are very many peple ,and i see a many people when i go aparking lot.

CORRECT: I went to Lotte World icerink with my father. I crashed with other people and I fell onthe ice. So, I was badly hurt. I felt good and happy to do iceskating. I will come back and I will do it many times.

People gradually came and there were a lot of people on theLotte World ice rink.

I saw a lot of people when I went to the parking lot.

>>Be mindful of the correctspelling of a word. Be mindful of the proper tense of the verbs thatyou use. Be mindful of your sentence construction.

When we say 'another', that means adifferent person or thing. But you are referring to people, so it'sbetter to use 'other'. It is used as an adjective and determiner.Don't use 'many' too often.

Hi Kevin, I'm so glad to received this composition from you. I'm so sorry for the accident that happened to you, please be careful next time. I hope you enjoy ice skating more.^^

Teacher Lyn :)