*****************CORRECTION*********************

Student: There are Ningan who enjoy walking.
Correct: There is Ningan who enjoys walking.

Explanation: We use "is" because Ningan is singular. Then, we put "-s" because it's in the present tense.

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Student: Oneday, he went to the evening breeze.
Correct: One day, he went outside to feel the evening breeze.

Explanation: Mind your spacing. You have to specify where Ningan went because "evening breeze" is not a place. Also, you need to indicate why it Ningan went outside, by putting an action word (verb) related to the evening breeze.

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Student: After exposed to the evening breeze, he caught a cold.
Correct: After being exposed to the evening breeze, he caught a cold.

Explanation: We use "being" because the action is already done. (Past tense)

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Student: he is taking a lot of vitamin C to get better.
Correct: He is taking a lot of vitamin C to get better.

Explanation: Mind your capitalization.

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Student: Because of virtue of this drug, he started falling asleep.
Correct: Because of virtue the effect of this drug, he started falling asleep.

Explanation: The meaning of "virtue" is: a useful quality, but it is not used to describe a medicine, vitamin or drug. So it is better to use "the effect".

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Student: Few minute later, he fast asleep. Unfortunately, he forgot to turn off gasvalve.
Correct: Few minutes later, he is fast asleep. Unfortunately, he forgot to turn off the gas valve.

Explanation: "few" is still more than one, so it's still plural. That's why we added "-s" in "minute". We put "is" because it is in the present tense. Lastly, don't forget your article "the" and mind your spacing. 

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Student: After a while, there was a fire. The fire was bigger and bigger.
Correct: After a while, there was a fire. The fire was got bigger and bigger.

Explanation: You need to tell what happened to the fire, "got" is your action word (verb).

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Student: When gas came in to Ningan's room. Ningan woke up and surprise.
Correct: When gas came in to Ningan's room, Ningan woke up and got
surprised.

Explanation: placement of comma must be observed, you don't need to put a period because the second clause supports the first one. We used "got" and added "-d" because it's done in the past.

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Student: "Oh my god, What's the matter!" And he get out of a house.
Correct: He said, "Oh my god, What's the matter!" and he gets out of a the
house.

Explanation: Whenever you're telling a story, always put "he said," before the dialogue. Mind your capitalization. Lastly, we put "-s" because it's in the present tense and use article "the" instead of "a".

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Student: Then he called to 911. "There are fire in my house!"
Correct: Then, he called to 911 and said, "There are is fire in my house!"

Explanation: Placement of comma must be observe. Whenever you're telling a story, always put "he said," before the dialogue. We use "is" because there is only one fire in one house.

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Student: Fortunately, The firefigters came to his house. And the fire went out.
Correct: Fortunately, The firefighters came to his house and the fire went out

Explanation: Please double-check your spelling and mind your capitalization.

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Student: Then, he could go back to his house. After that, he never forget
turn off the gasvalve.
Correct: Then, he could goes back to his house. After that, he never forget to 
turn off the gas valve.

Explanation: We use "goes", because it's in the present tense. We use "to" because the action is just about to happen. Lastly, check your spacing.

***********TEACHER'S COMMENT***************

Wow! Lina, you really are good with telling stories. I know that you can improve on this, just keep on practicing. You have improved with using past tense, but now you just need to know when to use past tense and present tense in the same sentence.

I'll be seeing you again tomorrow. You did a good job.
Practice makes perfect!

- Teacher Claire :)