This week, we learned about how it is dangerous to text, or call while driving. One driver never noticed that a police patrol car was coming. He was distracted by the cell phone. Let me tell you when do my mom, dad and I are distracted.
My mom and dad text while driving. When they don't know the way, they search on the internet. I always feel horrified. It is very dangerous because we can be distracted.
Also, I was distracted.I was distracted when I was cooking. I can make a mistake and the taste will be bad. Also, I was distracted when I was studying and when my younger brother was yelling.
But we have directions to solve the problems. We can shut the door when it is noisy. Also, we can go to the library. We can tell them to be quiet, too.
My mom and dad text while driving. But they can be distracted. And I also can be distracted. However we have directions to solve the problems. I want you to not be distracted.
Did you read my essay? Please fix the forms that I am wrong!

Correction:

This week, we learned about how dangerous it is to text or call while driving. The driver never noticed that a police patrol car was coming because he was distracted by the cell phone. Let me tell you when do my mom, dad and I are distracted.
My mom and dad text while driving. When they don't know the way, they search on the internet. I always feel horrified. It is very dangerous because we can be distracted.
I get distracted when I cook because I might make a mistake and the taste will be bad. I can also be distracted when my brother yells whenever I study.
But we have ways to solve the problems. We can shut the door when it is noisy. We can also go to the library and tell him to be quiet, too.
My mom and dad text while driving. The three of us can be distracted. However we have ways to solve the problems. I want you not to be distracted.
Did you read my essay? Please fix the forms that I am wrong!

Explanation:

We use article THE to indicate specific things in our sentences for example person or object. We use BECAUSE to state a reason of how or why certain things or situation happened.

We use PRESENT TENSE of the verb when we indicate facts or things that happen regularly.

Try to avoid using too much ALSO in your sentences because it causes to have redundancy in your sentences. Redundancy means a situation in which something is unnecessary because it is more than is needed.

You also have to consider the right arrangement of words in your sentences to state it clearly and to avoid a lot of repetition.

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Hello Zenia!

Thank you for sending your essay! I can see that you are so eager to express yourself in writing as well. Please take note of some corrections that I gave you though to express yourself clearly.

Sincerly,
Teacher Serene ^_^