The biggest accident in Korea

Do you know the ferry accident? I guess many people know that. On April 14th, there was a student who called the police that the ferry, 'Sa-wall-ho', was sinking. However, the government didn't go to the place quickly, and this caused the 280 people to die. The victims were all students and teachers.
The students were going on a trip. They rode on the ferry, 'Sa-wall-ho.' About 350 people went to a trip with their friends. Because of the untied bands, the ship started to sink. The bad crews said that they had to wait till they were rescued. But, all they wanted was them to be rescued and so the students ran out. They were the first to be rescued. After that, the students started to send massages to their families. Their family didn't know why. When they asked, "Why are you sending these massages?", it was too late. They were dying at that moment. Little of them were rescued, and the rest were dead or lost.
This is the most terrible accident in Korea. The family of the victims are clueless about the cause of the incident, but the government couldn't answer them. There are no miracles.

Julie: I guess most of people know that. On April 14th, There was a student who called the police that the 'Sa-wall-ho', the ferry was sinking. However, the government didn't went to rescue quickly. And that effected about 280 people die.
And the more sad thing is that they were all students and teachers.
Correct:  I guess many people know that. On April 14th, there was a student who called the police that the ferry, 'Sa-wall-ho', was sinking. However, the government didn't go to the place quickly, and this caused the 280 people to die. The victims were all students and teachers.
Explanation: Use most of the X to refer to a quantity of a specific group. Note the expression includes a phrase defining the number to a specific group. So, it is correct to use many. When you use did to make a sentence in past form, the main verb must be in present tense, for example, did you go to school?

Julie: The students were going on a trip. They used 'Sa-wall-ho.' About 350 went to trip with their friends. They were just happy to go on a trip with their friends. They were just happy to go on a trip with their friends. However, because of the untied bands, The ship started to sink.
Correct: The students were going on a trip. They rode on the ferry, 'Sa-wall-ho.' About 350 people went to a trip with their friends.  Because of the untied bands, the ship started to sink.
Explanation: Sa-wall-ho is a ferry, thus use the appropriate verb as rode, the past tense of ride, instead of use.

Julie: The bad crews said that they have to wait till they are rescued. But, all they wanted is them to be rescued and that is why they ran out with out the students. They were the first to be rescued. After that, students started to send massages to their families. However, there family didn't knew why. When they ask, "Why are you sending these massages?" But it was too late. They were dieing. Little of them were rescued, but the other were dead or lost.
Correct: The bad crews said that they had to wait till they were rescued. But, all they wanted was them to be rescued and so the students ran out. They were the first to be rescued. After that, the students started to send massages to their families. Their family didn't know why. When they asked, "Why are you sending these massages?", it was too late. They were dying at that moment. Little of them were rescued, and the rest were dead or lost.
Explanation: Be consistent in using the past tense since you are talking about the incident that happened months ago.

Julie: That was the most terrible accident in Korea. There family are
asking why did it happened, but the government didn't meet them or answer them. There were no miracles.
Correct: This is the most terrible accident in Korea. The family of the victims are clueless about the cause of the incident, but the government couldn't answer them. There are no miracles.
Explanation: When you are talking about a fact or in general, use the present tense of the verb. It is a fact that it's the most terrible accident in Korea this year.

Hello Julie! Analyze the correct sentences above and compare them to your work. It's one way to understand how a sentence is formed. Great job! :)