Hello, Olivia! Finally, I can see your homework composition now. Here are your corrections for this...

    *********CORRECTED ESSAY OF OLIVIA PARK*************

I went to Everland and there were so many people. I rode the merry-go-round. I ate ice cream. I bought a water gun and shot the monster. It was so much fun.

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OLIVIA: I went to everland and there were so many peapole.
CORRECT: I went to Everland and there were so many people.

EXPLANATION:

a. Capitalize the name of a specific place.

b. Be careful with the spelling. People is spelled as P-E-O-P-L-E ^^
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OLIVIA: ButI rode the mery-go-round.
CORRECT: I rode the merry-go-round.

EXPLANATION:

a. In this sentence, no need to put the word "but" because it doesn't contradict your first sentence.

b. Always remember the spelling of "merry-go-round." "Merry" means happy!
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OLIVIA: I ate ice-cream.
CORRECT: I ate ice cream.

EXPLANATION:

a. Be reminded that the word "ice cream" doesn't have any dash (-).
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OLIVIA: I bought a water gun.I shooted the water gun to the monster.
CORRECT: I bought a water gun and shot the monster.

EXPLANATION:

a. We may combine these two sentences because they are directly related to each other.

b. The past tense of "shoot" is "shot" ^^
   
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Good job, Olivia! I can see that you put much effort to your diary and that is really amazing! I can imagine you riding a merry-go-round and it's really cute!

See you tomorrow, Olivia!

Love lots,

Teacher Ace ^^