I have a pet named Mi-Pi. I don't know if it is a girl or boy, but I believe it is a girl.^^
Mi-Pi is a small snail,and it loves to eat a grass leaves or some cabbages. Also, she loves to sleep!(It is sleeping now.)
I received Mi-Pi from a store's staff. My mom always goes to that shop with my younger brother. So, the store staff knows my mom, and my mom knows the store staff very well.
I will keep it well and release it sooner. I love my snail!!!

Zenia: I have a pet named Mi-Pi.I don't know it is a girl or boy, but I believe it is a girl.^^
Correct: I have a pet named Mi-Pi. I don't know if it is a girl or boy, but I believe it is a girl.^^
Explanation: When you're not sure of one thing, then you're choosing from the two, better use "if". It'll make you're sentence more understandable.

Zenia: Mi-Pi is a small snail,and it loves to eat a grass leaf or some cabbage.Also, she loves to sleep!(It is sleeping now.)
Correct: Mi-Pi is a small snail,and it loves to eat a grass leaves or some cabbages. Also, she loves to sleep!(It is sleeping now.)
Explanation: No need to put comma (a) since "and" is a conjunction in the sentence. The article "a" is not applicable if talking about many things. Same goes with the some, the next word should be plural.

Zenia: I received Mi-Pi from a store staff. My mom always goes to that shop with my younger brother. So a store staff knows my mom and my mom knows the store staff very well.
Correct: I received Mi-Pi from a store's staff. My mom always goes to that shop with my younger brother. So, the store staff knows my mom, and my mom knows the store staff very well.
Explanation: When talking about a person who works at the store, put ('s). Use article "the" when talking about the same person.

Zenia: I will keep it well and release it sooner. I love my snail!!!
Correct: I will keep it well and release it sooner. I love my snail!!!
Explanation: Since you don't know yet when you'll release it, put "sooner" just to emphasize that it'll be in the future.

** Hi, Zenia! Thank you for this homework, I love it. Now I know that you really love your pet snail. Take care of it as much as you can and I hope it'll grow big. :) Study always, Zenia. Keep it up. See you on Tuesday!

~ Teacher Rachelle  ~