My name is Grace and I have a family which consists of father mother and younger brother.
Our family likes to get together and does something together. 
But, nowadays, we do not have enough time to get together because each of us are busy.
My father works at Hyundai motor company which is a famous company in Korea.
He has been working since he was 25 years old. So, I always think if I can do the same like my father does.
He is very funny and a domestic man. He always works  hanr and make money for our family. 
My mother is running a supermarket for 6 years.
I think she has a good business ability. There are some reasons why I think about her.
First, she knows well about how to make money, how to attract customers, how to make supermarket clean and fresh and so on.
and She is always kind and patient to people even to some rude people.
My younger brother is has just finished his military service.
so Now, he is preparing to get a driver's license and to study to go to university.

Grace: my name is grace and i have family who conist of father mother and younger brother.
our family like to get together and do something together.
but nowadays we do not have enough time to get together because we are so busy each other.
Correct: My name is Grace and I have a family which consists of father mother and younger brother.
Our family likes to get together and does something together.
But, nowadays, we do not have enough time to get together because each of us are busy.
Explanation:When starting as sentence,  the first letter of the word should be capitalized, same with the name of a person and the pronoun "I". It's better to use the article "a" when emphasizing a certain thing and it should be "which" since it's  pertaining to a whole, then the verb should be singular because the subject is singular. No need for the repetition of a word if it's just talking about with the same subject. The conjunction "but" should be followed by a comma (,) and "each of us are busy" is much easier to understand since it explains the words itself.

Grace: my father work at hyundai motor company which is famous company in korea.
he has been working about 25 years old. so i always think that can i work so long like myfather?
he is very funny and domestic man he always work hanr and make money for our family.
Correct: My father works at Hyundai motor company which is a famous company in Korea.
He has been working since he was 25 years old. So, I always think if I can do the same like my father does.
He is very funny and a domestic man. He always works hanr and make money for our family.
Explanation: When starting as sentence, the first letter of the word should be capitalized, the name of a company the pronoun "I". The verb should be singular because the subject is singular. It's better to use the article "a" when emphasizing a certain thing. "Since he was" is much better when talking about a thing he was doing before up until now.

Grace: my mother is running a supermarket for 6 years.
i think she has a good business ablity. there are reasons that i think.
first she knows well about how to make money how to attract customers how to make supermarket clean and fresh and so on.
and she always kind and impatient to people even some rude people.
Corect: My mother is running a supermarket for 6 years.
I think she has a good business ability. There are some reasons why I think about her.
First, she knows well about how to make money, how to attract customers, how to make supermarket clean and fresh and so on.
and She is always kind and patient to people even to some rude people.
Explanation: Be careful with the spelling of "ability". "Some" can be used when talking to "some" in particular and in this way, the sentence will be easier to understand. "First" should be followed by comma (,) and no need for the repetition of the words when talking about to a similar thing.

Grace: my younger brother is just discharged from military service.
so now he is preparing to get driver`s license and to study to go to university.
Correct: My younger brother is has just finished his military service.
so Now, he is preparing to get a driver's license and to study to go to university.
Explanation: It's better to use this kind of sentence to simply the thoughts and to be more understandable. Be used to add article "a" in a sentence to talk about particular thing.

** Hi, Grace! This composition is long yet interesting to read. Thank you so much for making this one and I greatly appreaciate it. I was waiting for you to tell about your "lovelife", but I think your "lovelife" is your family. :) Keep it up! See you later.

~ Teacher Rachelle   ~