Last Sunday, my bestfriend and I went to the Lotte World. We rode 11 rides in 5 hours. There were many peoplethere because middle school's test was finished! We ate hamburger in there. Then, we had to go home, so we walked for 1 hour for 2 kms. It was a funny day ever~~!^^

Emily: On sunday, me and my bestfriend went to the Lotte World.
Correct: Last Sunday, my bestfriend and I went to the Lotte World.
Explanation: Since it happened already, it's better to use "last". If talking about many people including yourself, use "I" at the end after mentioning all the people you have been with.

Emily: We rode 11rides in 5 hours.
Correct: We rode 11 rides in 5 hours.
Explanation: Please be careful that "11 rides" are not combined but separate.

Emilly: There was manny peples one Lotte World, because middle school's test finsh!
Correct: There were many peoplethere because middle school's test was finished!
Explanation: Since the subject is talking about many people in the sentence, use "were" as the verb. It's better to say "was finished" since it was done already. Please be careful with the spelling "finished".

Emily: We ate hamberger in there.
Correct: We ate hamburger in there.
Explanation: Please be careful with the spelling of "hamburger". No need to put "in there" since the place was mentioned already.

Emily:  After, we have to go home, so we walked for 1 hour for 2kilomiters. It was fun day ever~~!^^
Correct: Then, we had to go home, so we walked for 1 hour for 2 kms. It was a funny day ever~~!^^
Explanation: It's better to use "then" than "so". Don't have to use comma (,) after that. Since you're talking about "a funny day", better to use this format to make it simple.

** Thank you so much for making this composition, I appreciate it. I enjoyed reading this one. Until next time, Emily.

~ Teacher Rachelle  ~