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Lotte World

작성자 : luc***   ·   2014-04-04

Today, I went to Lotte world with my friend, called Su-woon. It was my first itme to go to Lotte world with friend. We just buy some candy and chocolate. First, we rode Hurachraborution. This is rollar-coaster and it's scary. Second, we rode gyro-swing. This is similar to Viking, but it's little different. It's shape is circle and it's turning around. This is one that I like it.
Third, we rode turning swing. Te tree is turning and turning. There is small chair under the tree(not a real), so we have to sit there. It make me cold.
Last, we wanna ride gyto-drop, but we can't. That's one thing that ery scary and it's my best one. But we can't ride, so we just go inside and rode giant-roof. That is turning upside down! It's turning 360'. Always makes me scream. Today was my best day~! I wand to go again~. ♡

답변

Today, I went to Lotte world with my friend, called Su-woon. It was my first time to go to Lotte world with friend. We just bought  some candy and chocolate. First, we rode Hurachraborution. This is roller-coaster and it's scary. Second, we rode gyro-swing. This is similar to Viking, but it's little different. It's shape is circle and it's turning around. This is one that I like. Third, we rode turning swing. The tree keeps on turning. There is small chair under the tree(not real), so we had to sit there. It made me cold.
Last, we want to ride gyto-drop, That's one thing that very scary and it's the best one. But we can't, so we just went inside and rode giant-roof thaturning upside down for about 360 and it really made me scream. It was my best day. I want to go there again. ?¾ 

 

Hello Lucy Wow.
You really had fun today.

I just made some corrections

'Be careful withhow you spell each words Try to read dictionary so that it will be easier for you to identify the words, spelling and meaning.

Lucy: itme
Correct: Time

Lucy: Te tree
Correct; The tree

Lucy: ery scary
Correct: very scary

'Study the proper usage of tenses the past and present

Lucy: buy
Correct:
bought

Lucy: makes me
Correct: made me

'I also rephrase some sentences because it is redundancy to use the same word again in one or two sentences and also to avoid fragmented ideas.

Lucy: Te tree is turning and turning.
Correct:
The tree keeps on turning.

Lucy:Always makes me scream.
Correct:
and it really made me scream

Lucy: I wand to go again
Correct: 
I want to go there again.

Have a great weekend Lucy :)


 

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